Before it’s too late…! published in Dawn Magazine

Before it's too late illustrated by Khalida Haq for Dawn Newspaper

lonely or opt to be lonely

It was Sunday morning. The Hamid family was relaxing after brunch when the news arrived that their aunt was taken to hospital after a severe paralysis stroke. She is the only sister of Hamid, yet they are not in contact with her for last 15 years. Despite living in the same city, the two families are virtually parted due to some disputes. However, the sad news abridged all differences and led them to hospital.  Hamid met his sister after a long time. They couldn’t speak much yet their tearful eyes and body language expressed their feelings.

It’s not the trauma of a single family. Nowadays, every second family is facing the crisis of declining values and broken relations. In fact many of us have accepted it as a part of modern lifestyle. The parents who devote all their energies for the well-being of their children are usually abandoned by the same in old age. The siblings with whom we spend and share the best part of our lives suddenly become enemies as they grow up. While the uncles and aunts, who were once close to our hearts, are forgotten as strangers. 

In most people’s lives, marriage is a turning point that dramatically reduces status of other relations. In today’s world, spouse and children are considered enough liabilities, while blood relatives and friendships are often taken for granted.  Most of us are not willing to give much, but expect a lot from our dear ones. This attitude of ignorance and high expectations is the core reason for hard feelings in the families. 

Mrs. Kazmi is the mother of three. Though her children are well-settled, yet they do not keep any contact with their mother and she is bound to live alone. Mrs. Aslam has a different story. In presence of eligible boys in family, she expected good proposals for her four educated daughters from the family. However, her own relatives ignored them and went for good-looking, rich girls for their sons. This indifference alienated her from her family

How some couples feel when children leave them alone in old age

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Matters of inheritance, business, marriage, and disputes over rights, interests, expectations and values are the common reasons of differences in any family. Quite often our selfish approach and false ego separate us from our dear ones. But when we leave someone who love and care for us, we actually make ourselves lonely. If we look around, we will find thousands of isolated people who are actually the prisoners of their rigid principles and egoistic decisions. They break hearts and ridicule sentiments in lust of money, power and better options. But time comes when they become subject of divine justice and find themselves helpless and dejected.

The question is why should we wait for a bad news, an accident, a heart attack or a warning from nature before we reconcile with our separated near and dear ones? Do we have any right to shed tears at the death or injury of someone, whom we deserted in their lives? Is it useful to build a tomb and arrange soyems, chehlums and fatehas for someone who was longing for our love and support throughout his/her life? Doesn’t it show that we are murdaparast (dead-lovers)? We acknowledge our leaders, artists, scholars and even well-wishers only when they die!   

We should make people feel important in their lives and ensure it to be there when they need us, in moments of sorrows and joys. What do you think? Share if you care & leave your comments on my blog…!

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